The Quest for a Totally Sweet Bottle Opener
Something I didn't really think about until quite recently was bottle openers. Bottle openers are one of those things that everyone just kinda has, and no one ever has any idea where the hell their bottle opener came from.
Well, recently, the bottle opener that I just kinda had decided to break. It was on a cheap-ass pocket knife made of probably the lowest quality steel ever manufactured. So, of course, it broke.
This presented a bit of a problem: where the fuck do I get a new bottle opener?
First place I checked was Albertson's, who, of course, didn't have anything that wasn't gigantic, and also fifteen other utensils. Lame. Rite Aid, same deal. Tobacco Connection, while they have a decent selection of pipes and some beer, didn't have bottle openers. I hit the mall. Spencer Gifts (a.k.a. Hot Topic, five years ago) had bottle openers on keychains, but they were all really tacky and had bumper sticker style bullshit printed all over them (although, I admit, I didn't stick around long; Spencer Gifts is a vile place that I prefer to avoid). Lame.
At the mall, I happened to run into a couple friends, and asked them where the hell you would go about finding a bottle opener that doesn't suck. Of course, they had no idea.
Eventually I found myself back at Albertson's, where I found, tucked into a tiny corner in the beer aisle, they had a bottle opener that was about what I was looking for. Pretty no-bullshit, and nice and small so I could carry it in my bag. The price, $1.50.
So, to celebrate all the wasted time and effort, I bought myself a Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse. It was fucking delicious.
posted by Soup at 8:38 AM 
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Saturday, August 19, 2006
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Relaxation of the Asshole
The past couple days have been busy as fuck. Thursday night, I went busking to make money to get a Dragonforce ticket. Ditched a drunken homeless guy (who's normally quite friendly, when he's not drunk), fried my voice, sprung my fingers, blistered fingers on my right hand. Today I slept from 10:00 AM to 7:00 at night. Tonight I did it again so I can get a ticket to the Cursive show.
And now all I really want to do is relax with a beer.
I've been thinking about how my drinking habits have changed. I don't really enjoy drinking to get drunk anymore, but rather, I enjoy getting drunk as a reward for enjoying beer, which, for some reason, I prefer to pour into a glass now, rather than drinking it straight from the bottle. I actually make an effort to enjoy the beer on a level that doesn't depend on a high ABV or a large quantity.
I think for once, I'll try it with one of my favorites, the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
I really need to find myself a drinking buddy that doesn't prefer liquor.
I will never enjoy the company of a drinking buddy that prefers mixed drinks. Sorry, bitches, but you just aren't my style.
posted by Soup at 4:10 AM
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I'm gonna cry
The other day, I sat on my balls. Hard.
It still hurts.
What can I say? I blog shit. There have to be at least a few utterly useless and unnecessary posts.
It's the rules, and shit.
posted by Soup at 4:18 AM
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Tearing me a new one
I don't think getting pierced will ever cease to be a nerve-racking experience for me. I've done it a couple times already, and I know it doesn't hurt that much, but is there really any other way you're supposed to respond to the idea of a dude you've maybe met once or twice shoving a needle through your face?
So today I went and got the other side of my lip pierced, now that the right side is pretty much healed. Looks damn fine, if I do say so myself.
I also went to the Record Exchange today, and picked up probably the best new record I've heard in a good long time. "Nerve Damage" by Tragedy.
The LP comes in a slick, foil-stamped gatefold, and it's a nice, thick slab of vinyl (especially if, like me, you're used to the cheap recycled 80 gram stuff that Ebullition typically puts out). If you're into hardcore (unless you're a scene kid and have no idea what hardcore is) at all, this is one to pick up.
posted by Soup at 5:58 AM
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A question
So what do I want to be when I grow up?
It's a question that caught me off guard. One that I have no idea how to answer anymore.
And does it really matter? Because in the end, will my life mean any more to anyone if I'm rich and famous than it will if I die tomorrow? More importantly, will it mean any more to me?
I've come to terms with the fact that I don't matter, in the grand scheme of things. Therefore, I do not see any reason to pretend that I do.
So I think I'll just live free instead.
posted by Soup at 7:06 PM
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Asshole
I'm beginning to notice more and more how much of an asshole I am.
I really have no idea where this came from, but I often find myself insulting people viciously with little or no provocation. I plainly, clearly, and quite rudely tell people when I think the bands they like are crap (sorry, Daniel). Hell, no less than ten minutes ago, I even told one of my friends that his girlfriend is ugly (which, of course, served as the inspiration for this post).
So what happened?
Am I just getting more pissed off? Am I just losing respect for people? Or am I just now noticing that I really hated other people all along?
Or is it just really fun to insult people?
Yeah, I'll go with that last one. Shitstain.
posted by Soup at 3:19 PM
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Obligations
Lately, I've been faced with a dilemma. On one hand, I feel that, as I suggested starting this in the first place, I'm obligated to update every so often. On the other hand, I feel that, when I have nothing to say, I'm obligated to have nothing to say in silence, since few things bother me more than people who try to make themselves feel important by blabbing on endlessly about nothing.
So which obligation won in the end?
Which one do you think?
But for the record, I still don't feel all that important.
posted by Soup at 3:07 PM
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Wednesday, August 02, 2006
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On Veganism
The average person hates vegans.
I pretty much think this goes without saying. I constantly hear about the health risks associated with it from my family (who always wonder why I can't "just eat real food," nevermind that I'd hardly consider a slab of meat loaded with hormones to be edible), and I used to constantly get shit from (now former) friends for not ordering anything when we'd go out to eat.
So why all the hostility?
Personally, I think a lot of people are threatened by the concept of veganism. Otherwise, why say anything? If people aren't afraid of it, why don't they just accept it and keep their mouths shut? If people aren't afraid of it, why is it whenever I offer most of the people I know something to eat, they just kind of grimace and say something like "is it vegan?" or worse, tell me "I'll eat something vegan if you'll eat a hamburger" (as if, somehow, fruits and vegetables are incompatible with an omnivorous diet in the same way that meat is with a vegan diet - last I checked, you're not going to get violently ill if you eat a fucking carrot)?
I think that eating meat has become somewhat synonymous with "manhood," and I think that this is where most of the hostility comes from. I've found that the people who give me the most shit are the ones who are (over)compensating for the most shit.
And you know what? It's not going to change my mind. I know the health risks. I know that humans are supposedly naturally omnivorous. And nothing anyone can say will change my mind. I've been vegan for nine months now, and I've never been healthier or happier in my life.
So here's my challenge to all willing to accept it: go two weeks without eating any meat. If you think you can do it, let me know! And be sure to let me know how it goes for you!
posted by Soup at 1:47 AM
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