The Quest for a Totally Sweet Bottle Opener
Something I didn't really think about until quite recently was bottle openers. Bottle openers are one of those things that everyone just kinda has, and no one ever has any idea where the hell their bottle opener came from.
Well, recently, the bottle opener that I just kinda had decided to break. It was on a cheap-ass pocket knife made of probably the lowest quality steel ever manufactured. So, of course, it broke.
This presented a bit of a problem: where the fuck do I get a new bottle opener?
First place I checked was Albertson's, who, of course, didn't have anything that wasn't gigantic, and also fifteen other utensils. Lame. Rite Aid, same deal. Tobacco Connection, while they have a decent selection of pipes and some beer, didn't have bottle openers. I hit the mall. Spencer Gifts (a.k.a. Hot Topic, five years ago) had bottle openers on keychains, but they were all really tacky and had bumper sticker style bullshit printed all over them (although, I admit, I didn't stick around long; Spencer Gifts is a vile place that I prefer to avoid). Lame.
At the mall, I happened to run into a couple friends, and asked them where the hell you would go about finding a bottle opener that doesn't suck. Of course, they had no idea.
Eventually I found myself back at Albertson's, where I found, tucked into a tiny corner in the beer aisle, they had a bottle opener that was about what I was looking for. Pretty no-bullshit, and nice and small so I could carry it in my bag. The price, $1.50.
So, to celebrate all the wasted time and effort, I bought myself a Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse. It was fucking delicious.
posted by Soup at 8:38 AM 
2 comments
|
|
